Woop woop! I've got a new record! And by that I don't mean I've brought out a chart-topping music album, however, if I were to bring out an album it would definitely be chart topping (failure charts)- a mix of rap and country I reckon... hmm, I might consider doing that.
No no! I'm talking about how the other morning when I broke one of my personal records and created for myself a new personal best- I'm always striving to do better and be the best, but didn't really see this one coming, furthermore- I don't know whether it will really be viewed as a positive new record...
Basically, I managed to stay up until 5.45am working on an essay- and finished it! Now tell me, is that sad? Is that good stewarding of time? I hadn't really thought about it- however, what did occur to me is this idea of getting things done in time. Striving to do better and reaching our targets...
I was reading in Acts last week after wanting to find out about the source of communism, and it led on to describe the day before the great and glorious day of the Lords arrival. It says the sun will become dark and the moon will turn a blood red. Now that totally freaked me out because every night the sun goes dark giving way to the moon, and often the skies are blood red
"red at night, shepherds delight" -farmers and shepherds would say that this is the sign of a brilliant next day. So next time I see a blood red sky I am going to be thinking, "tomorrow could be the day, the delightful day when Jesus returns to sort out the good and bad in this world". However, I'm sure all who know the word will know when the day of judgement is about to arrive.
But it got me thinking, if it was tomorrow when Jesus comes back onto this earth, who's going to heaven and who's not. Who will I see again? But I want everyone to get this awesome gift of eternal life given by the grace of God- if I knew I had one day before Jesus arrived I would certainly be out there telling everyone that they need to understand the truth.
The other truth is that we don't know when it's going to be, it could be tomorrow- so why am I sat here at this computer typing about it- shouldn't I be out there talking about it- whoops, I think I just gave myself a challenge- that's it, grab the stool and Bible and hit the streets of Plymouth-
Wait a minute, Chelsea are playing West Ham in 6mins, that's a better opportunity to evangelise through fellowship- I think I'll do that instead.
We've got a target to reach, the issue is we don't know our timescale- how long we've got to do this assignment, in which case, we better be getting on with it now.
I gave my flat mate a couple of paracetemol earlier, her way of thanking me was by saying "lifesaver"- people need to know the truth about life saving... I'm off- come on God, we're going to win this match today and everyday.
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Thursday, 20 November 2008
No Evidence
I had an awesome day yesterday, yet feel as though I haven't taken anything tangible away from it- only my own knowledge of what went on and how I progressed in my skills and experience.
Basically it was competition, much like a cross between "The Apprentice" and "Dragon's Den". The competition was called FLUX.
I was in a team of six people, all 1st, 2nd and final year business school students from the Butonics Society. We were one team out of 6 in our stream and there were 2 streams, obviously making up a total of 12 teams, all from different disciplines.
Each team was given a real life business scenario and had to work on their business to come up with a way of enforcing change and development.
Ours was a company based in Bristol called Clear Water Revival who deliver ecological and energy efficient leisure pool solutions. This ranges from huge swimming pools, right down to hot tubs and saunas. The twist being that these leisure pools are heated and maintained using the earth's natural resources; wind power, solar power, geothermal energy and biomass.
One of the benefits about this company is that they are the only company that delivers these sorts of pools in the UK- this means they have 100% market share.
So the day consisted of creating a business plan, meeting with business experts for advice on our business plan, revising and making our business plan better, then presenting our business plan in a Dragon's Den style pitch to the Judges and the other teams who then slammed challenging questions back at you.
We won that round, out of six teams the judges picked our group as having the best plan and the best presentation. Brilliant. It was going really well- I was excited, yet for some reason didn't show it like the other lads. As soon as we were announced the winners they all jumped in the air and screamed- I felt obliged to give a little yelp, so managed a slightly delayed "YEAAA!" -but stayed in my seat!
That then meant we had to go head to head against the winning team from the other stream in an elevator pitch. The elevator pitch is when you have under two minutes to sell yourself and your company or product to a professional business person when you meet them "by chance" in an elevator. Our team instigator and leader, Levi, took on the role of entering the elevator and delivering the pitch. He did really well and got across everything he had to- who he was, what his company does, where he is based, what he wanted/needed from the business person in the elevator and why they should invest in him. The only thing he missed out was asking for their business card to be able to arrange a further meeting with them to discuss more- I think that is why we lost against the other group. But I still remain true that we were the better team and should have won the competition and the cash.
I had a real issue with this competition the night before.
How was it benefiting God? -Or was I being totally selfish in wanting to do and win this competition and the cash?
How could I give such a situation to God? Basically I wanted to be the one who benefits at the end of the day, myself and my team- I wanted it to be about me and wanted to just erase God out of it for one day so I didn't have to worry about giving it to him.
But obviously that is impossible and I tried to come up with ways to give it to God...
In the end I just realised that somewhere between being a ruthless and competitive business man, I also had to be compassionate and Christlike in the way I conduct my business and work with other people- as the day went on and got long, this became increasingly difficult as tensions grew and people got tired.
The other way I prepared myself for making sure God was in my business, was through reward and forgiveness- where most businesses' HR will work on a scheme of reward and punishment, I prepared myself to put across a model of forgiveness.
And finally after reading a bit in Romans, I realised that being right with God is not through doing good things- obviously that is how we should be living. But instead it is just by having faith in God. I know I have that faith and so I didn't have to try to be a super Christian in the competition, but just had to remember who my creator and saviour is.
It was a shame we didn't win- like I said, I felt we really should have done- we would have had a press conference today and then be coached for the national final next year.
Hopefully next year though I will be able lead a team into FLUX with a head start.
I just wish I had something to show for myself of the work and effort that went into yesterday, but I feel I have nothing- no evidence.
I guess this will happen again and again in my future as I try new ideas, setting up businesses, or whatever it might be that I get into.
At least now I am prepared for it.
Basically it was competition, much like a cross between "The Apprentice" and "Dragon's Den". The competition was called FLUX.
I was in a team of six people, all 1st, 2nd and final year business school students from the Butonics Society. We were one team out of 6 in our stream and there were 2 streams, obviously making up a total of 12 teams, all from different disciplines.
Each team was given a real life business scenario and had to work on their business to come up with a way of enforcing change and development.
Ours was a company based in Bristol called Clear Water Revival who deliver ecological and energy efficient leisure pool solutions. This ranges from huge swimming pools, right down to hot tubs and saunas. The twist being that these leisure pools are heated and maintained using the earth's natural resources; wind power, solar power, geothermal energy and biomass.
One of the benefits about this company is that they are the only company that delivers these sorts of pools in the UK- this means they have 100% market share.
So the day consisted of creating a business plan, meeting with business experts for advice on our business plan, revising and making our business plan better, then presenting our business plan in a Dragon's Den style pitch to the Judges and the other teams who then slammed challenging questions back at you.
We won that round, out of six teams the judges picked our group as having the best plan and the best presentation. Brilliant. It was going really well- I was excited, yet for some reason didn't show it like the other lads. As soon as we were announced the winners they all jumped in the air and screamed- I felt obliged to give a little yelp, so managed a slightly delayed "YEAAA!" -but stayed in my seat!
That then meant we had to go head to head against the winning team from the other stream in an elevator pitch. The elevator pitch is when you have under two minutes to sell yourself and your company or product to a professional business person when you meet them "by chance" in an elevator. Our team instigator and leader, Levi, took on the role of entering the elevator and delivering the pitch. He did really well and got across everything he had to- who he was, what his company does, where he is based, what he wanted/needed from the business person in the elevator and why they should invest in him. The only thing he missed out was asking for their business card to be able to arrange a further meeting with them to discuss more- I think that is why we lost against the other group. But I still remain true that we were the better team and should have won the competition and the cash.
I had a real issue with this competition the night before.
How was it benefiting God? -Or was I being totally selfish in wanting to do and win this competition and the cash?
How could I give such a situation to God? Basically I wanted to be the one who benefits at the end of the day, myself and my team- I wanted it to be about me and wanted to just erase God out of it for one day so I didn't have to worry about giving it to him.
But obviously that is impossible and I tried to come up with ways to give it to God...
In the end I just realised that somewhere between being a ruthless and competitive business man, I also had to be compassionate and Christlike in the way I conduct my business and work with other people- as the day went on and got long, this became increasingly difficult as tensions grew and people got tired.
The other way I prepared myself for making sure God was in my business, was through reward and forgiveness- where most businesses' HR will work on a scheme of reward and punishment, I prepared myself to put across a model of forgiveness.
And finally after reading a bit in Romans, I realised that being right with God is not through doing good things- obviously that is how we should be living. But instead it is just by having faith in God. I know I have that faith and so I didn't have to try to be a super Christian in the competition, but just had to remember who my creator and saviour is.
It was a shame we didn't win- like I said, I felt we really should have done- we would have had a press conference today and then be coached for the national final next year.
Hopefully next year though I will be able lead a team into FLUX with a head start.
I just wish I had something to show for myself of the work and effort that went into yesterday, but I feel I have nothing- no evidence.
I guess this will happen again and again in my future as I try new ideas, setting up businesses, or whatever it might be that I get into.
At least now I am prepared for it.
Sunday, 26 October 2008
Where's it gone?
Today is Sunday 26th October, so it’s been almost 2 months since I started this blog and 1 month since my last post.
So where's it gone?
That means I've been here over five weeks now! It really doesn't feel like that, it feels like just two weeks still. So much has happened in that time. Three weekends ago I dashed home to live in a slum with the youth group at my home church, but people pulled out and the weather wasn't so good anyway. Instead I met up with Dave and Jen and played scrabble (Dave really didn't enjoy it) I almost won, but Jenny stole the points at the end putting her into poll position! Mum and Dad left home that weekend to vacate to Northern Italy. Apparently they sent me a postcard to uni, but I still wait fervently everyday for that card!
One thing I did that week was to go out on my new bike with the PUBC (bike club) I was so psyched up- I had my new mongoose, full suspension downhill pro bike. I walked it over to the group as to stay modest and found them with h-e-ouge bikes with triple barrelled front suspension. They were all wearing full face helmets and proper shin pads and clothing that had the remains of some good mud flying riding. I knew this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. My absolute zeal was diminished within the first few seconds of standing with the other bikers waiting for more people to arrive. We set off and straight away they took on a flight of brick steps- luckily I was able to cycle round a different way and go down a slightly smaller flight of steps.
It was awesome though. Indeed I was slower than the other guys going down the trails, hitting the jumps and sliding round the corners, but I still enjoyed it. Hopefully I will learn more about my bike and how to ride it properly downhill.
I've been finding it hard in my relationship with Claire- I don't really know why. I'm changing now in different ways, I'm making new friends, surrounding myself with people who aren't the cuddly loving Christian type that I was used to at home.
I'm trying to strike a balance between the Christian and non-Christian friends I have so that I am in, but not of the world- that broken world that Jesus talks about. My prayer is that God will push me out into the wilderness where I will be tried and tested, but where I will find other people and be able to show them the way and the truth to the life, Jesus.
I know that I can and will remain faithful to God when I am in the hardest of situations, I can say that I have done so far.
The one way I am going to remain faithful is if I keep dwelling on and in God's word. But like my love for Claire and like the weeks that I've been here; I ask myself about that passion to know God- where's it gone?
I was really doing well in the first month of writing this blog, praying to God each day. Reading His word and seeking Him in every situation, but that discipline has hidden itself somewhere behind the pile of clothes in my room, somewhere on the dance floor in the clubs, somewhere between the text books on my shelf, somewhere and I've got to get that discipline right back inside me to be a true disciple and follower of Jesus Christ.
I've now got a big hole in my heart- I feel as though I've thrown away one of the best parts of my life and I don't really know what to do about it.
Still on the search for a church where I can settle- I'm gathering a short list, maybe next week I'll go to the one I want to stay at. For now though it's Col 3:16.
Thursday, 25 September 2008
This aint no ordinary love
I'm currently listening to Toby Mac's song:
"This aint no ordinary love, gonna tell ev'ry one under sun"
I cant help feeling that is where I want to be- telling every one under the sun about this love I've got. But I'm not allowed to say that- I was spending time reading my bible this morning and writing about it in my journal- let me share it.
I was looking at the first chapter in Romans (again) and verses 11 and 12 really spoke to me. This is what I wrote:
"My longing is the same as Paul's, to meet new people and be a blessing to them, whether spiritually or physically - I want to give people what God has given me.
"It is all very well wanting to do these things, but I wait for the day when I can say "I gave these people/person something that God has given me". - I mean, I don't want to be blowing my trumpet about it - but I think it will help me to actually practice what I want to do"
I don't really know what to write today... I think I'm tired today.
Since Sunday I guess I've done quite a lot.
Monday I was given my first essay to write, the title being, "Scarcity is the central economic problem in all societies, irrespective of the economic system. Discuss."
I had no idea what to write! I didn't even know properly what scarcity is- but Tuesday evening I went to the library and did a whole load of research- my essay is almost complete- its got to be in on Wednesday next week.
I then went to Oceana for the beach party- it was good fun, not too late, like 2am in. Everyone was amazed when I bought a J2O at the bar, but I was happy.
Tuesday I enrolled officially which means that soon I'll have my student loan come through.
Wednesday (yesterday) I had my timetable given to me in the morning- I get Wednesdays and most Fridays off. I was going to play 5-a-side football in the afternoon, but 2 of the guys we had lined up pulled out due to hangovers and lectures- hopefully we'll play tomorrow afternoon. Instead I went to the SU with one of my class mates- we had a good chat then wondered over to the Freshers' commercial fair where we did a competition to see who could get the most freebies- I won! -I think it was the tin of baked beans that won it for me!
Like I said, I read bits of my Bible this morning. I got up at 7.20 so to be awake for the fire alarm at 7.30, but when it didn't go off by 7.40 I decided to grab my bike and take a ride- I went right down to the coast and followed it around, watched the boats, the frigates, watched the navy lads on their morning jog then running up and down hills. I sat and read and wrote then cycled some more in the other direction. Later I bought an OS Map so maybe tomorrow I will cycle again and go further afield- we'll see.
Now I'm going to finish my essay, maybe ring Claire, cook some tea then maybe sleep or maybe go out...
This feels like it has been a boring blog post, I've had a quiet day- think I'm probably missing home a bit.
One last thing- last night I joined the CU in going to the cinema, we watched Tropic Thunder (a bit of a disappointment) On the way there I spotted this guy sleeping in the doorway of some offices, so on the way back I ran into the garage shop, bought a sandwich and dairy milk and gave it to, he was sound asleep so I left it by him- hopefully a nice surprise this morning when he woke up. -I gave something away that God gave me- that makes me feel good- its only a little bit, but hopefully a big impact. That's the extra-ordinary love God is.
"This aint no ordinary love, gonna tell ev'ry one under sun"
I cant help feeling that is where I want to be- telling every one under the sun about this love I've got. But I'm not allowed to say that- I was spending time reading my bible this morning and writing about it in my journal- let me share it.
I was looking at the first chapter in Romans (again) and verses 11 and 12 really spoke to me. This is what I wrote:
"My longing is the same as Paul's, to meet new people and be a blessing to them, whether spiritually or physically - I want to give people what God has given me.
"It is all very well wanting to do these things, but I wait for the day when I can say "I gave these people/person something that God has given me". - I mean, I don't want to be blowing my trumpet about it - but I think it will help me to actually practice what I want to do"
I don't really know what to write today... I think I'm tired today.
Since Sunday I guess I've done quite a lot.
Monday I was given my first essay to write, the title being, "Scarcity is the central economic problem in all societies, irrespective of the economic system. Discuss."
I had no idea what to write! I didn't even know properly what scarcity is- but Tuesday evening I went to the library and did a whole load of research- my essay is almost complete- its got to be in on Wednesday next week.
I then went to Oceana for the beach party- it was good fun, not too late, like 2am in. Everyone was amazed when I bought a J2O at the bar, but I was happy.
Tuesday I enrolled officially which means that soon I'll have my student loan come through.
Wednesday (yesterday) I had my timetable given to me in the morning- I get Wednesdays and most Fridays off. I was going to play 5-a-side football in the afternoon, but 2 of the guys we had lined up pulled out due to hangovers and lectures- hopefully we'll play tomorrow afternoon. Instead I went to the SU with one of my class mates- we had a good chat then wondered over to the Freshers' commercial fair where we did a competition to see who could get the most freebies- I won! -I think it was the tin of baked beans that won it for me!
Like I said, I read bits of my Bible this morning. I got up at 7.20 so to be awake for the fire alarm at 7.30, but when it didn't go off by 7.40 I decided to grab my bike and take a ride- I went right down to the coast and followed it around, watched the boats, the frigates, watched the navy lads on their morning jog then running up and down hills. I sat and read and wrote then cycled some more in the other direction. Later I bought an OS Map so maybe tomorrow I will cycle again and go further afield- we'll see.
Now I'm going to finish my essay, maybe ring Claire, cook some tea then maybe sleep or maybe go out...
This feels like it has been a boring blog post, I've had a quiet day- think I'm probably missing home a bit.
One last thing- last night I joined the CU in going to the cinema, we watched Tropic Thunder (a bit of a disappointment) On the way there I spotted this guy sleeping in the doorway of some offices, so on the way back I ran into the garage shop, bought a sandwich and dairy milk and gave it to, he was sound asleep so I left it by him- hopefully a nice surprise this morning when he woke up. -I gave something away that God gave me- that makes me feel good- its only a little bit, but hopefully a big impact. That's the extra-ordinary love God is.
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Meant to be?
Well yesterday, when we were having the picnic in the dark on the Hoe, I was talking with the guys there about where they would be going to church today (Sunday) and they reeled off a whole list of different churches and none were St. Judes.
Now I'd been told about St. Judes and had this nagging within me to go along there on my first Sunday- but no one else was going...
Sunday morning (ie today)- still not sure where I should go- with my new CU buddies, or by my lonesome, so I prayed about it, opened my Bible and it opened straight onto the first page of the book of Jude (to be honest, I didn't even know there was a book called Jude in the Bible)
So that was it, I went to St. Judes. It was cool, 10.30 service, some really welcoming people, some slightly unwelcoming pews. Worship was a little cheesy and soft for my liking, but still worshippable to. The talk was alright- all about meeting people where they're at "that's why we're doing these alternative services here"- possibly a slight contradiction. Meet people where they're at to me means getting out there and going to them instead of waiting for them to come in to a building of stones and pews- but still, I could see that God was really starting to develop a vision for the church through Tim Smith, the pastor.
During the service a chinese guy walked in, he looked about my age, so at the end of the service, (infact during the full emersion baptism) I made a bee line to speak with him. He was actually 30 and teaching as a language assistant in Ivybridge. He heard the music from the church out on the street and just walked in- never been to church in his life. So I spoke with Gordon the warden there (he's young and cool) and got Lamb (the chinese guy) set up to start the Alpha course this Tuesday. How awesome is that- definitely meant to be. I also met a girl there called Hayley, she also, like me, had come as a student for the first time to St. Judes by herself. She's from Bermuda- how cool is that! I invited her along to the BBQ that CU were putting on for lunch- so she came and was able to meet loads of other Christians also. There was almost 40 of us at the BBQ, quite a few white africans also, I got to know loads of people, signed up on a surfing trip and gave them one of my giant norfolk carrots (cheers Richie)!
This evening I went to church again, this time Mutley Baptist- this had a worship band that I felt very comfortable with, still pews, but loads of 18-30 year olds who gathered together after the service for informal meeting and social time as part of their group, "Fuse". It was cool, but I didn't really catch on with the teaching though. I might stick with this church, but I'm going to try out a few others first.
Later on tonight I found myself in next doors flat- they loved my cow pyjama bottoms (a big hit- thanks Claire) Soon though the wardens let themselves in and started noting down everything wrong; propped open fire doors (£20 fine per door) loud music and four of us who weren't supposed to be in there. Luckily we all blagged our way out of the fines, but it was a close one, and drunk Alex didn't really help the situation! I'm getting to know loads of new people, both Christian and non-Christian which is exactly what I want to be doing- been jotting down different mobile numbers and names, just got to make sure I match them to the right faces... that could be interesting "Shaun?" "No, Megan" "Whoops!"
Tomorrow induction starts, beach party in the evening- I don't know if I will get the chance to write on here. However, just incase, I'll pre-brief you. I'm walking to induction with Shaun at 9.10am and have got stuff hapening until 2.30pm. I really want to get out along the coast on my bike, but we'll see what happens- its not in my hands, but I pray that God will give me some more "meant to be" moments.
One last thing; this is why we should prophesy: to build up, to churn up and to stir up.
If God speaks to you, make sure you pass his word on- it changes lives.
That's all I got out of this evening's sermon on Amos 3v1-8. I don't understand a lot of that passage though, but briefly scanned through the whole book and got a fair understanding of the whole book- I'm not sure yet though when Irael will be destroyed- maybe it's in another book, or maybe it's still yet to happen...
Now I'd been told about St. Judes and had this nagging within me to go along there on my first Sunday- but no one else was going...
Sunday morning (ie today)- still not sure where I should go- with my new CU buddies, or by my lonesome, so I prayed about it, opened my Bible and it opened straight onto the first page of the book of Jude (to be honest, I didn't even know there was a book called Jude in the Bible)
So that was it, I went to St. Judes. It was cool, 10.30 service, some really welcoming people, some slightly unwelcoming pews. Worship was a little cheesy and soft for my liking, but still worshippable to. The talk was alright- all about meeting people where they're at "that's why we're doing these alternative services here"- possibly a slight contradiction. Meet people where they're at to me means getting out there and going to them instead of waiting for them to come in to a building of stones and pews- but still, I could see that God was really starting to develop a vision for the church through Tim Smith, the pastor.
During the service a chinese guy walked in, he looked about my age, so at the end of the service, (infact during the full emersion baptism) I made a bee line to speak with him. He was actually 30 and teaching as a language assistant in Ivybridge. He heard the music from the church out on the street and just walked in- never been to church in his life. So I spoke with Gordon the warden there (he's young and cool) and got Lamb (the chinese guy) set up to start the Alpha course this Tuesday. How awesome is that- definitely meant to be. I also met a girl there called Hayley, she also, like me, had come as a student for the first time to St. Judes by herself. She's from Bermuda- how cool is that! I invited her along to the BBQ that CU were putting on for lunch- so she came and was able to meet loads of other Christians also. There was almost 40 of us at the BBQ, quite a few white africans also, I got to know loads of people, signed up on a surfing trip and gave them one of my giant norfolk carrots (cheers Richie)!
This evening I went to church again, this time Mutley Baptist- this had a worship band that I felt very comfortable with, still pews, but loads of 18-30 year olds who gathered together after the service for informal meeting and social time as part of their group, "Fuse". It was cool, but I didn't really catch on with the teaching though. I might stick with this church, but I'm going to try out a few others first.
Later on tonight I found myself in next doors flat- they loved my cow pyjama bottoms (a big hit- thanks Claire) Soon though the wardens let themselves in and started noting down everything wrong; propped open fire doors (£20 fine per door) loud music and four of us who weren't supposed to be in there. Luckily we all blagged our way out of the fines, but it was a close one, and drunk Alex didn't really help the situation! I'm getting to know loads of new people, both Christian and non-Christian which is exactly what I want to be doing- been jotting down different mobile numbers and names, just got to make sure I match them to the right faces... that could be interesting "Shaun?" "No, Megan" "Whoops!"
Tomorrow induction starts, beach party in the evening- I don't know if I will get the chance to write on here. However, just incase, I'll pre-brief you. I'm walking to induction with Shaun at 9.10am and have got stuff hapening until 2.30pm. I really want to get out along the coast on my bike, but we'll see what happens- its not in my hands, but I pray that God will give me some more "meant to be" moments.
One last thing; this is why we should prophesy: to build up, to churn up and to stir up.
If God speaks to you, make sure you pass his word on- it changes lives.
That's all I got out of this evening's sermon on Amos 3v1-8. I don't understand a lot of that passage though, but briefly scanned through the whole book and got a fair understanding of the whole book- I'm not sure yet though when Irael will be destroyed- maybe it's in another book, or maybe it's still yet to happen...
I've made it!
Finally, I've made it back to this site and got down to do some hardcore blog writing!
I've made it through those three weeks of early mornings and strange inner feelings now and I am at uni- currently sat at my desk at 1am, Sunday 21st September writing this blog. It was around about this time at night exactly 1 year ago that the fire started out in our buildings. A few hours later there was a swarm of tens of firemen all working in different ways to make sure the fire didn't spread to other buildings on the farm- I've had dreams about that fire many times since, I suppose really they were nightmares- when I wake up I just pray that it is not truth but just in my head.
That was another time my stomach had strange feelings, or rather my whole body.
I remember being aware of the loud popping noises outside, but too asleep to take notice of it, I even remember vaguely seeing the orange glare around my room and somehow telling myself that someone had left the yard light on. It was when the phone rang that it seemed a bit strange. I heard Mum run down the stairs to answer it but not getting there in time, the next thing I hear is Mum shouting in the house with a clear but slightly nervous crack in her voice, "fire!"
My eyes darted open and I realised what the glare really was. The orange glare shone right around my whole room and the popping noises became clearer. At that split point things started to rush through my head; "where is it? how big? where are the cattle? is it the house? is everyone alive?" To me the glowing orange glare gave the impression of a huge fire in the buildings closest to the house. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window- I could see the fire, it was in the building furthest away- I was surprised. I was suddenly overcome by a wave of awakeness, probably adreneline and I grabbed the jeans and tops I'd been wearing the day before. When I got outside to the farm yard the fire had already grown, yet nowhere near the size that it going to reach.
I will never forget that day- those hours of "what happens now?" questions in all sorts of capacity. That consistent churning inside my body, my arms and my legs. I would hate to have to go through that again. It makes you ask the "why?" question after.
Why would God have let something like that happen- was he punishing us? -No, Jesus took all our punishment by dying on the cross. Was God testing us? -Maybe, just to see whether we seek him in the time of danger and distraught, and whether we remain faithful and obedient to him after. Or did God have a plan for that building, a reason for it happening? Once again, maybe- I think the plan would be for my Dad rather than for me. Maybe it was a test of passion, passion for the farm and work. God calls us to be the best we can be, to do things to the best of our ability- which makes me ask why the building still hasn't been rebuilt after the fire- maybe its due to a lack of passion in the family business. That one, we didn't make it.
But there is still time- of which now on the farm I will play a much smaller part of.
I am now settling into university life. Mum and I made it here on Thursday, we rapidly unpacked the car straight into my bedroom then after being here for about three hours of sorting various things out, we headed home again- leaving all my belongings behind in a strange room that I had only just visited for the first time.
That night was the Alpha Launch Party with Adriano Basso. It was an awesome evening, Adriano spoke so well and I really enjoyed being a part of the whole evening. I pray that some of the people who were there and who have never experienced God in any conscious way will have taken something home with them in their hearts- something a little different.
So then I made it back to Plymouth via train and with my new bicycle on Friday, midday(ish) and met my three flatmates properly that evening after unpacking all the lonely boxes that were in my room. There is Amy, Harry (Harriet) and Nikki (Nichola). That does mean there are two rooms inbetween Harry and Nikki that are patiently waiting to be unlocked and made into new homes to hopefully two chaps, because, even though I get on really well with the girls here, I could really do with some more testosterone around the flat. They are all really cool, everyone gets on like cheese on toast here.
I went out with Amy first on Friday night and we ended up in someone's house where they were lighting up wacky backy, playing Star Wars video games and listening to hard rock music- which is cool, I've got no problem with it, it just wasn't the most exciting, sociable or fun place to be. Amy made the decision to go back to our flat so we walked back together.
I left her to go to bed and I went and sat in the kitchen with Nikki and Harry, they'd got through a couple of bottles of wine and some other things- I grabbed a cider and soon we found ourselves on our way out to explore the highlights of the SU bar- which turned out to be pretty busy, but pretty good fun- everyone was up for chat and really friendly- except for the people who shove their way infront of you in the mass of a queue to the bar. It was cool though- good bonding!
I left the SU to ring Claire- I miss her company a lot. I don't realise it at first, but I know that if I was with Claire, or was at least closer in distance, the corners of my mouth would reach further around my cheeks in an expression of smiling, and I know I would be more chatty, more happy- so by process of elimination, I can say that I miss her greatly- but I'm making it through, we speak regularly on the phone and txt each other quite often.
I made it to Saturday, which also was an awesome day. I got up early, by choice- this is for a few reasons (there's always reasoons for waking up early!) Firstly I had to get an ethernet cable to connect up to the internet in my room so I could make sure the selling of my car went through properly- which it did you may be glad to know- I made £750 on it, which I am happy with. Secondly the weather was beautiful outside and I wanted to explore the city a little whilst there wern't too many people around. Thirdly, I had to get up and pray and read my Bible bit- I'll tell that in a second.
So I did get up, I made toast, realised I didn't have any butter to add to the combination of toast and marmalade, so I permanently borrowed some of Harry's anchor spreadable- she was cool with it when I told her- I'll make it up to her. I then grabbed my bike out the store, went to Staples, got my cable then cycled down to the Barbican, which is the harbour- at least I think it is- that's where I was anyway. I had to wait for the swing bridge to close up before I could cross over the harbour, so I was able to watch a variety of fishing boats, yachts and dingys set off to exercise there rudders and stretch their sails. It was fun watching a French sea explorer apprentice practicing his lassoing skills- trying to get the ropes off the poles just by flicking it- it took him a while, but he got a clap when he managed to do it. Time was getting on then, so I headed back to the flat to keep an eye on eBay.
But before I did all that, infact as soon as I got up, I spent time in prayer, almost out loud, more of "out but quiet". As soon as I woke up I had a bible verse ringing throug my head "Romans Chapeter 7 verse 18" which talks about how we will share in God's glory!! I was like "Amen brother!" and then it says we will also share in God's suffering- I've kind of been dwelling on that, on and off today- maybe I'll read into it a bit more tomorrow and see what God might be trying to say.
Ok, so it turns out that I'm making this blog pretty long tonight- it's taken me ages to write it, but I do just want to tell you about my first experiences of the Christian Union today.
At 11.30 they were meeting up to play footie at Central Park- so I went along; put in a few good crosses, set the ball up nicely, did a cracker of a header (the crack was the sound of my glsses) and even scored a few times. There were 12 of us playing on a hill, it was great fun- I didn't speak much, only football language: "Yes", "pass", "go long", "shot". Later I joined Katherine, someone I met on facebook in walking over to the CU before heading onto a picnic on the Hoe- it's like a park by the sea. It was an amzing sunset, quite chilly though. We all brought food to share and the cake that Mum made me for uni got around 19 people- not bad considering I had a whopper of a slice out of it the other day! There were probably almost 30 of us altogether- some really great people. If you're going to uni then do get involved in some of the stuff the Christian Union put on because it's such a great way to meet new people, really friendly and welcoming people as well- even if you're not a Christian. I ended up back at the house of some of the CU leaders and about 11 of us fitted snuggly into the living room to watch "The Simpsons Movie"- it was very funny, a great film!
And now I've made it back here into my room... let Sunday commence!
I've made it through those three weeks of early mornings and strange inner feelings now and I am at uni- currently sat at my desk at 1am, Sunday 21st September writing this blog. It was around about this time at night exactly 1 year ago that the fire started out in our buildings. A few hours later there was a swarm of tens of firemen all working in different ways to make sure the fire didn't spread to other buildings on the farm- I've had dreams about that fire many times since, I suppose really they were nightmares- when I wake up I just pray that it is not truth but just in my head.
That was another time my stomach had strange feelings, or rather my whole body.
I remember being aware of the loud popping noises outside, but too asleep to take notice of it, I even remember vaguely seeing the orange glare around my room and somehow telling myself that someone had left the yard light on. It was when the phone rang that it seemed a bit strange. I heard Mum run down the stairs to answer it but not getting there in time, the next thing I hear is Mum shouting in the house with a clear but slightly nervous crack in her voice, "fire!"
My eyes darted open and I realised what the glare really was. The orange glare shone right around my whole room and the popping noises became clearer. At that split point things started to rush through my head; "where is it? how big? where are the cattle? is it the house? is everyone alive?" To me the glowing orange glare gave the impression of a huge fire in the buildings closest to the house. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window- I could see the fire, it was in the building furthest away- I was surprised. I was suddenly overcome by a wave of awakeness, probably adreneline and I grabbed the jeans and tops I'd been wearing the day before. When I got outside to the farm yard the fire had already grown, yet nowhere near the size that it going to reach.
I will never forget that day- those hours of "what happens now?" questions in all sorts of capacity. That consistent churning inside my body, my arms and my legs. I would hate to have to go through that again. It makes you ask the "why?" question after.
Why would God have let something like that happen- was he punishing us? -No, Jesus took all our punishment by dying on the cross. Was God testing us? -Maybe, just to see whether we seek him in the time of danger and distraught, and whether we remain faithful and obedient to him after. Or did God have a plan for that building, a reason for it happening? Once again, maybe- I think the plan would be for my Dad rather than for me. Maybe it was a test of passion, passion for the farm and work. God calls us to be the best we can be, to do things to the best of our ability- which makes me ask why the building still hasn't been rebuilt after the fire- maybe its due to a lack of passion in the family business. That one, we didn't make it.
But there is still time- of which now on the farm I will play a much smaller part of.
I am now settling into university life. Mum and I made it here on Thursday, we rapidly unpacked the car straight into my bedroom then after being here for about three hours of sorting various things out, we headed home again- leaving all my belongings behind in a strange room that I had only just visited for the first time.
That night was the Alpha Launch Party with Adriano Basso. It was an awesome evening, Adriano spoke so well and I really enjoyed being a part of the whole evening. I pray that some of the people who were there and who have never experienced God in any conscious way will have taken something home with them in their hearts- something a little different.
So then I made it back to Plymouth via train and with my new bicycle on Friday, midday(ish) and met my three flatmates properly that evening after unpacking all the lonely boxes that were in my room. There is Amy, Harry (Harriet) and Nikki (Nichola). That does mean there are two rooms inbetween Harry and Nikki that are patiently waiting to be unlocked and made into new homes to hopefully two chaps, because, even though I get on really well with the girls here, I could really do with some more testosterone around the flat. They are all really cool, everyone gets on like cheese on toast here.
I went out with Amy first on Friday night and we ended up in someone's house where they were lighting up wacky backy, playing Star Wars video games and listening to hard rock music- which is cool, I've got no problem with it, it just wasn't the most exciting, sociable or fun place to be. Amy made the decision to go back to our flat so we walked back together.
I left her to go to bed and I went and sat in the kitchen with Nikki and Harry, they'd got through a couple of bottles of wine and some other things- I grabbed a cider and soon we found ourselves on our way out to explore the highlights of the SU bar- which turned out to be pretty busy, but pretty good fun- everyone was up for chat and really friendly- except for the people who shove their way infront of you in the mass of a queue to the bar. It was cool though- good bonding!
I left the SU to ring Claire- I miss her company a lot. I don't realise it at first, but I know that if I was with Claire, or was at least closer in distance, the corners of my mouth would reach further around my cheeks in an expression of smiling, and I know I would be more chatty, more happy- so by process of elimination, I can say that I miss her greatly- but I'm making it through, we speak regularly on the phone and txt each other quite often.
I made it to Saturday, which also was an awesome day. I got up early, by choice- this is for a few reasons (there's always reasoons for waking up early!) Firstly I had to get an ethernet cable to connect up to the internet in my room so I could make sure the selling of my car went through properly- which it did you may be glad to know- I made £750 on it, which I am happy with. Secondly the weather was beautiful outside and I wanted to explore the city a little whilst there wern't too many people around. Thirdly, I had to get up and pray and read my Bible bit- I'll tell that in a second.
So I did get up, I made toast, realised I didn't have any butter to add to the combination of toast and marmalade, so I permanently borrowed some of Harry's anchor spreadable- she was cool with it when I told her- I'll make it up to her. I then grabbed my bike out the store, went to Staples, got my cable then cycled down to the Barbican, which is the harbour- at least I think it is- that's where I was anyway. I had to wait for the swing bridge to close up before I could cross over the harbour, so I was able to watch a variety of fishing boats, yachts and dingys set off to exercise there rudders and stretch their sails. It was fun watching a French sea explorer apprentice practicing his lassoing skills- trying to get the ropes off the poles just by flicking it- it took him a while, but he got a clap when he managed to do it. Time was getting on then, so I headed back to the flat to keep an eye on eBay.
But before I did all that, infact as soon as I got up, I spent time in prayer, almost out loud, more of "out but quiet". As soon as I woke up I had a bible verse ringing throug my head "Romans Chapeter 7 verse 18" which talks about how we will share in God's glory!! I was like "Amen brother!" and then it says we will also share in God's suffering- I've kind of been dwelling on that, on and off today- maybe I'll read into it a bit more tomorrow and see what God might be trying to say.
Ok, so it turns out that I'm making this blog pretty long tonight- it's taken me ages to write it, but I do just want to tell you about my first experiences of the Christian Union today.
At 11.30 they were meeting up to play footie at Central Park- so I went along; put in a few good crosses, set the ball up nicely, did a cracker of a header (the crack was the sound of my glsses) and even scored a few times. There were 12 of us playing on a hill, it was great fun- I didn't speak much, only football language: "Yes", "pass", "go long", "shot". Later I joined Katherine, someone I met on facebook in walking over to the CU before heading onto a picnic on the Hoe- it's like a park by the sea. It was an amzing sunset, quite chilly though. We all brought food to share and the cake that Mum made me for uni got around 19 people- not bad considering I had a whopper of a slice out of it the other day! There were probably almost 30 of us altogether- some really great people. If you're going to uni then do get involved in some of the stuff the Christian Union put on because it's such a great way to meet new people, really friendly and welcoming people as well- even if you're not a Christian. I ended up back at the house of some of the CU leaders and about 11 of us fitted snuggly into the living room to watch "The Simpsons Movie"- it was very funny, a great film!
And now I've made it back here into my room... let Sunday commence!
Saturday, 30 August 2008
Has it started now...?
Ok, so it's a Saturday morning, I rang Rob half an hour ago as I promised I would, just to make sure he was awake and getting ready for work- he's getting "time and a half" today as its a Saturday and he's got to help move everything into a bigger warehouse- sounds fun!
As I lay in my bed after, I asked myself, "Why on earth am I continuously waking up between 6 and 7 every morning?"
Well, it could partly be down to these 5 factors:
That is that my mind is like a track of thoughts racing after each other around my head, this is mixed with unwelcome nerves that are being pumped through my gut- they just appeared, I didn't ask for them or put them there, they just decided to exercise there actions within me.
Its simple why, and seems like a minor thing when put into one sentence: in two weeks time I will be finishing my year's work at church and then a week later I will be trying my hand at taking on university for the first time.
I lay here in my bed thinking about this new beginning and decided that maybe I should record all that I'm going through. A hand written diary would be too scruffy; I'm a bloke and use bloke's hand writing which is appalling compared to that of many women. So I thought about keeping a typed diary through Microsoft Word, but decided it would be too plain and boring; besides, how can anyone benefit from it if it's stuck on my laptop- I like to do things that benefit other people.
So my final idea was to set up a blog site! It was easy! I don't know how long it will last though.
People can read it once I've moved away from home to see what I've been up to. Strangers can read it and try to catch a glimpse of the character of this young man moving from countryside to city in the UK.
Maybe people will read it and benefit from seeing solutions to problems and issues that I go through; that is if I go through problems and issues, my life might be perfect from now, a continuous high... I doubt it, that's not human!
So the question is, "Has it started now?" This new adventure in my life- what's going to change, what's going to stay the same? Follow my blog and find out with me. I guess over time and writings you'll find out more and more bits about me as though putting together one of those 3-dimensional jigsaw puzzles in the shape of Will Tratt (there aren't many about)
One thing I suppose I could let you in on now is that I am a firm believer of/in a man who walked the Middle Eastern lands of this world. He was then brutally killed one day (unfortunately it had to happen if things were to be the way they are) It gets better though, he was raised from the dead (an amazing miracle) by his own father!
I've got a pretty cool relationship with that guy and his dad, my dad also- I hope you get to experience some of that relationship as my days unfold.
I'm now going to get up and put together a comprehensive list of all the things I need to get and prepare for university.
As I lay in my bed after, I asked myself, "Why on earth am I continuously waking up between 6 and 7 every morning?"
Well, it could partly be down to these 5 factors:
- The two (5mth old) lambs out in the yard bleating in unison to go back in the field with the rest of the flock
- The sound of the sparrows that are living between the tiles above my bedroom as they stretch their wings and get in tune for a day of unending flittering and tweeting
- The sound of the hundreds of crows that pitch down into the buildings out on the farm every morning to take advantage of the free wheat that has been stored there for the last year
- The distant and faint sound of the power shower humming in Mum and Dad's room as Ruth starts the procedure of her vacillating "spruce up" session for her day at Cribbs Causeway
- Or maybe its the morning sun light that is infiltrating my room by peeping around the door and penetrating through the thin material that makes up my curtains- it is a white light; fresh and offers the assumption that it will be a fair weather today- which is good as we have hay laying down trying to dry out to be fit for baling
That is that my mind is like a track of thoughts racing after each other around my head, this is mixed with unwelcome nerves that are being pumped through my gut- they just appeared, I didn't ask for them or put them there, they just decided to exercise there actions within me.
Its simple why, and seems like a minor thing when put into one sentence: in two weeks time I will be finishing my year's work at church and then a week later I will be trying my hand at taking on university for the first time.
I lay here in my bed thinking about this new beginning and decided that maybe I should record all that I'm going through. A hand written diary would be too scruffy; I'm a bloke and use bloke's hand writing which is appalling compared to that of many women. So I thought about keeping a typed diary through Microsoft Word, but decided it would be too plain and boring; besides, how can anyone benefit from it if it's stuck on my laptop- I like to do things that benefit other people.
So my final idea was to set up a blog site! It was easy! I don't know how long it will last though.
People can read it once I've moved away from home to see what I've been up to. Strangers can read it and try to catch a glimpse of the character of this young man moving from countryside to city in the UK.
Maybe people will read it and benefit from seeing solutions to problems and issues that I go through; that is if I go through problems and issues, my life might be perfect from now, a continuous high... I doubt it, that's not human!
So the question is, "Has it started now?" This new adventure in my life- what's going to change, what's going to stay the same? Follow my blog and find out with me. I guess over time and writings you'll find out more and more bits about me as though putting together one of those 3-dimensional jigsaw puzzles in the shape of Will Tratt (there aren't many about)
One thing I suppose I could let you in on now is that I am a firm believer of/in a man who walked the Middle Eastern lands of this world. He was then brutally killed one day (unfortunately it had to happen if things were to be the way they are) It gets better though, he was raised from the dead (an amazing miracle) by his own father!
I've got a pretty cool relationship with that guy and his dad, my dad also- I hope you get to experience some of that relationship as my days unfold.
I'm now going to get up and put together a comprehensive list of all the things I need to get and prepare for university.
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