I've made it!

Finally, I've made it back to this site and got down to do some hardcore blog writing!

I've made it through those three weeks of early mornings and strange inner feelings now and I am at uni- currently sat at my desk at 1am, Sunday 21st September writing this blog. It was around about this time at night exactly 1 year ago that the fire started out in our buildings. A few hours later there was a swarm of tens of firemen all working in different ways to make sure the fire didn't spread to other buildings on the farm- I've had dreams about that fire many times since, I suppose really they were nightmares- when I wake up I just pray that it is not truth but just in my head.
That was another time my stomach had strange feelings, or rather my whole body.
I remember being aware of the loud popping noises outside, but too asleep to take notice of it, I even remember vaguely seeing the orange glare around my room and somehow telling myself that someone had left the yard light on. It was when the phone rang that it seemed a bit strange. I heard Mum run down the stairs to answer it but not getting there in time, the next thing I hear is Mum shouting in the house with a clear but slightly nervous crack in her voice, "fire!"
My eyes darted open and I realised what the glare really was. The orange glare shone right around my whole room and the popping noises became clearer. At that split point things started to rush through my head; "where is it? how big? where are the cattle? is it the house? is everyone alive?" To me the glowing orange glare gave the impression of a huge fire in the buildings closest to the house. I jumped out of bed and ran to the window- I could see the fire, it was in the building furthest away- I was surprised. I was suddenly overcome by a wave of awakeness, probably adreneline and I grabbed the jeans and tops I'd been wearing the day before. When I got outside to the farm yard the fire had already grown, yet nowhere near the size that it going to reach.

I will never forget that day- those hours of "what happens now?" questions in all sorts of capacity. That consistent churning inside my body, my arms and my legs. I would hate to have to go through that again. It makes you ask the "why?" question after.
Why would God have let something like that happen- was he punishing us? -No, Jesus took all our punishment by dying on the cross. Was God testing us? -Maybe, just to see whether we seek him in the time of danger and distraught, and whether we remain faithful and obedient to him after. Or did God have a plan for that building, a reason for it happening? Once again, maybe- I think the plan would be for my Dad rather than for me. Maybe it was a test of passion, passion for the farm and work. God calls us to be the best we can be, to do things to the best of our ability- which makes me ask why the building still hasn't been rebuilt after the fire- maybe its due to a lack of passion in the family business. That one, we didn't make it.
But there is still time- of which now on the farm I will play a much smaller part of.

I am now settling into university life. Mum and I made it here on Thursday, we rapidly unpacked the car straight into my bedroom then after being here for about three hours of sorting various things out, we headed home again- leaving all my belongings behind in a strange room that I had only just visited for the first time.
That night was the Alpha Launch Party with Adriano Basso. It was an awesome evening, Adriano spoke so well and I really enjoyed being a part of the whole evening. I pray that some of the people who were there and who have never experienced God in any conscious way will have taken something home with them in their hearts- something a little different.

So then I made it back to Plymouth via train and with my new bicycle on Friday, midday(ish) and met my three flatmates properly that evening after unpacking all the lonely boxes that were in my room. There is Amy, Harry (Harriet) and Nikki (Nichola). That does mean there are two rooms inbetween Harry and Nikki that are patiently waiting to be unlocked and made into new homes to hopefully two chaps, because, even though I get on really well with the girls here, I could really do with some more testosterone around the flat. They are all really cool, everyone gets on like cheese on toast here.
I went out with Amy first on Friday night and we ended up in someone's house where they were lighting up wacky backy, playing Star Wars video games and listening to hard rock music- which is cool, I've got no problem with it, it just wasn't the most exciting, sociable or fun place to be. Amy made the decision to go back to our flat so we walked back together.
I left her to go to bed and I went and sat in the kitchen with Nikki and Harry, they'd got through a couple of bottles of wine and some other things- I grabbed a cider and soon we found ourselves on our way out to explore the highlights of the SU bar- which turned out to be pretty busy, but pretty good fun- everyone was up for chat and really friendly- except for the people who shove their way infront of you in the mass of a queue to the bar. It was cool though- good bonding!

I left the SU to ring Claire- I miss her company a lot. I don't realise it at first, but I know that if I was with Claire, or was at least closer in distance, the corners of my mouth would reach further around my cheeks in an expression of smiling, and I know I would be more chatty, more happy- so by process of elimination, I can say that I miss her greatly- but I'm making it through, we speak regularly on the phone and txt each other quite often.

I made it to Saturday, which also was an awesome day. I got up early, by choice- this is for a few reasons (there's always reasoons for waking up early!) Firstly I had to get an ethernet cable to connect up to the internet in my room so I could make sure the selling of my car went through properly- which it did you may be glad to know- I made £750 on it, which I am happy with. Secondly the weather was beautiful outside and I wanted to explore the city a little whilst there wern't too many people around. Thirdly, I had to get up and pray and read my Bible bit- I'll tell that in a second.

So I did get up, I made toast, realised I didn't have any butter to add to the combination of toast and marmalade, so I permanently borrowed some of Harry's anchor spreadable- she was cool with it when I told her- I'll make it up to her. I then grabbed my bike out the store, went to Staples, got my cable then cycled down to the Barbican, which is the harbour- at least I think it is- that's where I was anyway. I had to wait for the swing bridge to close up before I could cross over the harbour, so I was able to watch a variety of fishing boats, yachts and dingys set off to exercise there rudders and stretch their sails. It was fun watching a French sea explorer apprentice practicing his lassoing skills- trying to get the ropes off the poles just by flicking it- it took him a while, but he got a clap when he managed to do it. Time was getting on then, so I headed back to the flat to keep an eye on eBay.

But before I did all that, infact as soon as I got up, I spent time in prayer, almost out loud, more of "out but quiet". As soon as I woke up I had a bible verse ringing throug my head "Romans Chapeter 7 verse 18" which talks about how we will share in God's glory!! I was like "Amen brother!" and then it says we will also share in God's suffering- I've kind of been dwelling on that, on and off today- maybe I'll read into it a bit more tomorrow and see what God might be trying to say.

Ok, so it turns out that I'm making this blog pretty long tonight- it's taken me ages to write it, but I do just want to tell you about my first experiences of the Christian Union today.
At 11.30 they were meeting up to play footie at Central Park- so I went along; put in a few good crosses, set the ball up nicely, did a cracker of a header (the crack was the sound of my glsses) and even scored a few times. There were 12 of us playing on a hill, it was great fun- I didn't speak much, only football language: "Yes", "pass", "go long", "shot". Later I joined Katherine, someone I met on facebook in walking over to the CU before heading onto a picnic on the Hoe- it's like a park by the sea. It was an amzing sunset, quite chilly though. We all brought food to share and the cake that Mum made me for uni got around 19 people- not bad considering I had a whopper of a slice out of it the other day! There were probably almost 30 of us altogether- some really great people. If you're going to uni then do get involved in some of the stuff the Christian Union put on because it's such a great way to meet new people, really friendly and welcoming people as well- even if you're not a Christian. I ended up back at the house of some of the CU leaders and about 11 of us fitted snuggly into the living room to watch "The Simpsons Movie"- it was very funny, a great film!

And now I've made it back here into my room... let Sunday commence!